hahahaha I figured we need something to take our frustrations out with this crappy weather.
sorry the post was suppose to say TWO SNOWS.....................I know, I know, bad attempt at humour.................but it reminds me of when I had my cottage in Haliburton we noticed a guy running the lake and then slowed down and next thing we knew he went in sled and all. we ran out over to the spot and stood above the open water and all of a sudden he came up. we tried to grab the guy but all he did was grasp a few breathes of fresh air and went down again. i told my buddies next time up we all reached but he fought us off grapsed some air and went down again. well we decided if we didnt get him out he would never survive so next time up we finally got a good enough hold of him and pulled him out. well all i can say is the guy was pissed off as hell at us yelling and screaming. when I asked why so mad that we saved his life he just looked at me and said one more pull and i would have had it started.....r r r r r r r r r ...........
I was feeling suicidal last night because of the recent weather, so I called a suicide hotline and got a call center in Pakistan.
I told the nice Pakistani man on the phone how I was feeling suicidal and he asked me if I knew how to drive a truck?
Those two are pretty good.A teenager asks his gramma, "have you seen my pills labeled LSD?" she says "No, but have you seen the huge dragon in the kitchen?"[/b]
An old couple play fart football
A little old couple prepares to go to bed. They no sooner hit the pillows when the old man farts and says, "Seven Points."
His wife rolls over and says, "What in the world was that?"
The old man replied, "It's fart football."
A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says, "Touchdown, tie score."
After about five minutes the old man lets another one go and says, "Aha. I'm ahead 14 to 7."
Not to be outdone, the wife rips out another one and says, "Touchdown, tie score."
Five seconds go by and she lets out a little squeaker and says, "Field goal, I lead 17 to 14."
Now the pressure is on the old man. He refuses to get beat by a woman, so he strains real hard, but to no avail. Realizing a defeat is totally unacceptable he gives it everything he's got, and accidentally he shits in the bed. The wife says, "What the hell was that?"
The old man says, "Half time, switch sides."[/b]