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Discussion Starter #1
Although snow mobiling may seem like a long way off, it is never too early to get ready. Here is an off season training plan, and some things to help you be ready for the best part of the snow mobiling season

1. Go to your local snowmobile repair shop, smile and give the first guy you see $200. This will get you used to spending money there on a regular basis.

2. Remove the muffler from your lawnmower, place it in a metal garbage can and start it up. Put your head in the can and have someone close the lid.

3. Fill a 50-gallon barrel with sand. Lower it into a hole. Now lift it out. If you can, add water to the sand and try it again. Do this 5 times per day. This will get your back in shape for those deep snow stucks.

4. Tie a rope to a heavy-duty spring. Pull the rope repeatedly with each arm until the pain in your shoulders meets
somewhere in the middle of your back. This will get you in shape for starting your bud's sled, that he conveniently forgot was out of gas and didn't tell you. It's best to do this exercise while someone is spraying starting fluid into
your nose and eyes also.

5. Drink four ounces of cod liver oil mixed with a strong laxative. Dress with long underwear, wool pants, snowmobile bibs, insulated boots and heavy coat. Walk far into the woods without any paper products and wait for a personal emergency.

6. Place your hands in a bucket of ice water for 20 minutes. Put the carburetor from your lawn mower in the bottom of your deep freeze. Now climb in the deep freeze, shut the lid and overhaul it while holding a pen light in your mouth. This gets you prepared to work on your sled in the freezing cold and black of night. NOTE: Advanced riders do this with a leather man tool.

7. Dress up in your new $350 snowmobile bibs. Pour 2 stroke oil down the right leg, gasoline down the other and Peppermint Schnapps and Beer all over the front. Fill your boots with ice cubes and ask your wife or girlfriend to dance. This will prepare her for the stops at the local bar after a ride.

8. Put on a Balaclava and a full-face helmet. Attempt to drink hot chocolate through the opening. Advanced riders attempt this while riding a lawn tractor in the nearest farmer’s field.

9. Find a place where you can pay $3.50 a gallon for regular gas; $19.99 per quart of oil; $16 for a hamburger and frozen french fries; $3 for a coke and $60 to sleep in a cold cabin on a bed with springs sticking through the mattress. Stay for two nights, minimum. This will prepare you on the high cost of your future winter trips.

10. Practice explaining to your banker why you need another loan for a $40,000 truck to pull the four $10,000 toys in your $9,000 trailer that you still owe $40,000 on.

Now, you are 50% ready, and somewhat conditioned to head for the Mountains and ride your sled.

Have fun
 

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Very good,and oh so true!
 

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The carb overhaul is priceless. Maybe it's because I've been there...still very funny. Thanks for the humour!!
 

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Discussion Starter #6
I cant take credit for it-my buddy who lives in da UP of Michigan sent it to me. I figured we all needed something humorous considering the weather.
 

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So true. This will get all of us ready.. Thanks for the tip and thank your buddy for us
 

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Oh my god its 1973 and I'm on my 1972 Puma with that F#@&ing 399 Koller again.
 

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One time I had to rebuild a recoil in the hotel room, well I set the spring on the floor and forgot how greasy that are. Well needless to say they had a perfect grease coil mark on the floor. We went to the local hardware store bought a area rug and put it over the top of the stain.
 
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Here! Here! You forgot pissing on your carborators so the damn Lawnmower will start at 40 below zero!
 
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