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A cop pulls over a ditzy looking blonde driving a convertible and asks to see her license.

“What’s that?” she asks.

He explains that it’s the card proving she knows how to drive.

“Oh, I have one of those,” she says.

After checking her information in the squad car, the cop says, “I’m sorry, but I’m going to have to give you a ticket.”

“What’s a ticket?” she asks.

The cop thinks about it, looks both ways, and pulls out his d**k.

The girl slumps in her seat and says, “Oh, no. Not another Breathalyzer.”
 

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Everyone loves little Johnny.... LOL

Nancy Pelosi was visiting a primary school in Orlando and visited a grade four class. They were in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings.
The teacher asked Mrs. Pelosi if she would like to lead the discussion on the word 'tragedy.' So our illustrious Democrat asked the class for an example of a 'tragedy'.
One little boy stood up and offered: "If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a tractor runs him over and kills him, that would be a tragedy."
"No," said Pelosi , "that would be an accident."
A little girl raised her hand: "If a school bus carrying 50 children drove off a cliff, killing everyone, that would be a tragedy."
"I'm afraid not," explained Pelosi . "That's what we would call great loss."
The room went silent. No other child volunteered. Pelosi searched the room.
"Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?"
Finally at the back of the room, Little Johnny raised his hand. The teacher held her breath.
In a quiet voice he said: "If the plane carrying you was struck by a 'friendly fire' missile and blown to smithereens that would be a tragedy."
"Fantastic!" exclaimed Pelosi , "That's right. And can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?"
"Well," says Johnny, "It has to be a tragedy, because it sure as hell wouldn't be a great loss ... and you can bet your sweet ass it wouldn't be an accident either!"
 

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It’s Saturday one more Joke
Little Johnny and Jenny are only 12 years old, but they know they are in love.
One day they decide that they want to get married, so Johnny goes to Jenny's father to ask him for her hand. Johnny bravely walks up to him and says,
"Mr. Smith, me and Jenny are in love and I want to ask you for her hand in marriage."
Thinking that this was just the cutest thing, Mr. Smith replies, "Well Johnny both of you are only 12. Where will you two live?"
Without even taking a moment to think about it, Johnny replies, "In Jenny's room. It's bigger than mine and we can both fit there nicely."
Still thinking this is just adorable, Mr. Smith says with a huge grin, "Okay then how will you live? You're not old enough to get a job. You'll need to support Jenny."
Again, Johnny instantly replies, "Our allowance. Jenny makes five bucks a week and I make 10 bucks a week." "That's about 60 bucks a month and that should do us just fine."
Mr. Smith is impressed Johnny has put so much thought into this. "Well Johnny, it seems like you have everything figured out. I just have one more question. What will you do if the two of you should have little ones of your own?"
Johnny just shrugs his shoulders and says, "Well, we've been lucky so far."
Mr Smith no longer thinks the little shit is adorable..
 
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