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A teacher was wrapping up class, and started talking about tomorrow’s final exam. He said there would be no excuses for not showing up tomorrow, barring a dire medical condition or an immediate family member’s death. One smart ass, male student said, “What about extreme sexual exhaustion?”, and the whole classroom burst into laughter. After the laughter had subsided, the teacher glared at the student, and said, “Not an excuse, you can use your other hand to write.”
 

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The young fellow is about to marry and asks his grandfather how often a married couple should have sex. His grandfather tells him, “When you first get married, you want it all the time, maybe several times a day; later on, maybe once a week. As you get older, you have sex maybe once a month. When you get really old, you are lucky to have it once a year, maybe on your anniversary.” The young fellow asks, “How about you and Grandma?” His grandfather replies, “Oh, we just have [email protected] sex now. She goes into her bedroom and I go into my bedroom. She yells, ‘F**k you,’ and I holler back, ‘F**k you, too!'”




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A gay homosexual walks into a bar and sees a monkey sitting on the bar table. , "What's the monkey for?" asks the gay guy. "watch this," says the bartender. He whacks the monkey on the head, and then the monkey goes crazy running around the bar table. the monkey then runs up to the bartender whips down his pants and starts sucking his dick. The gay guy is amazed. "Wanna try?" asks the bartender, The gay guy responds, "sure, but don't hit me so hard!"

source: Gay Guy and Monkey Joke - Dirty Jokes
 
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